Rawrpost #1

So I was reading a friends blog and it inspired me to do my own. He said that what does it mean to start anew?....or something along those lines. 


Is it "To make ourselves, set forth again? 
To make ourselves feel better of our past? 
To really change for the better?"


In my honest opinion, it's a little bit of everything. 


Why everything? I'll tell you why. I have been asking myself this for..lets say 14 years now and I didn't know how to let go from my past until recently. I blamed everything on everyone else and pretty much shut myself away. I used to be the little miss goodie two shoes. I was nice to everybody even though I was quite shy (still am), thought everybody were my friends, thought everything grew flowers and sparkles but year after year everything would just crumble and I just didn't know what to do. In reality people rejected me because I was one of the few asians in the school (primary school), I was short, not attractive,chubby, loud, too tomboyish and someone easy to use. I was too gullible for my own liking. 


I didn't want to believe that reality and let myself be used left right and center. All I wanted people to know was that I was always going to be there whenever they needed me...cause I was someone who they could depend on...but I learnt that greed and popularity will always get the better of people. After experiencing high school I've become so bitter that I just didn't care and took it out on the close friends that I had. It's quite painful remembering these kinds of memories but in the end...you just have to let it go and move on. 


Ok so....your past is going to creep up on you again someday but by the time that it does you've got to ask yourself...Is it worth worrying about? and is it worth it for those thoughts to be interfering with your current situation? No and No. I say Forgive the past...then forget it. Time to start anew. 


So the answers to my friends questions would be "yes, yes and yes"
Without a positive/optimistic mind, you're bound to do something stupid sooner than later and regret it afterwards. Everyone has been in that situation and for certain people it takes longer for them to process that (*raises hand*). Having a positive outlook on life gives you the opportunity to dream big things even if it's something  like wanting to start a family being a housewife so you can pamper your spouse after a long hard day of work...(Ok I know that sounds a little far-fetched specially when its really rare to hear cases like that now days...but hell I'd totally do that lol) or wanting to be a superstar or wanting to start a business. Having that positive outlook gives you the willpower to do anything. You just have to keep going and going until you reach what you've longed for..because it's going to happen. 


Life is just a big maze, there are dead ends and there's your desired destination. If you keep on hitting dead ends don't be discouraged, the path of your destination is just around the corner. 


Yeah I just made that up, sounded corny didn't it. Oh well!


I think that's enough for the night...need to rest my poor left hand which has been abused all week thanks to a vegetable peeler tearing my middle nail and slamming the door on my thumb. I'm so stupid sometimes...haha


Good night!
`Myakisza